Bill Gates organized an enormous session to recruit a new Chairman for
Microsoft Europe. 5000 candidates assembled in a large room. One
candidate is Santa Singh an Indian (Punjabi) guy. Bill Gates thanked all
the candidates for coming and asking those who do not know JAVA program
to leave.2000 people leave the room. Santa says to himself, ‘I do [...]

1. Don’t imagine you can change a man - unless he’s in nappies.
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2. What do you do if your boyfriend walks out? You shut the door.
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3. If they put a man on the moon - they should be able to put them all up there.
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4. Never let your man’s mind wander - [...]

A very attractive young lady was sitting in a fine restaurant one night.
Waiting for her date as she was, she wanted to make sure everything was perfect.
So, as she bends down in her chair to get the mirror from her purse, she accidentally farts quite loudly just as the waiter walks up.
Sitting up straight now, [...]

There once was a bear and a rabbit and they hated each other. The bear and rabbit then stumbled upon a magical talking tree.
The tree said: “I will grant you 3 wishes a piece if you will stop fighting!”
So the bear went first. “I wish all the bears in the forest are females.”
And all the [...]

One Night 4 College Students Were Playing Till Late Night
And Didn’t Study For The Test Which Was Scheduled For The Next Day.
In the morning they thought of a plan.
They made themselves look as dirty and weird with grease and dirt.
They then went up to the Dean and said that they had gone [...]

Customer: Hi, this is Celine. I can’t get my diskette out.
Tech support: Have you tried pushing the Button?
Customer: Yes, sure, it’s really stuck.
Tech support: That doesn’t sound good; I’ll make a note.
Customer: No, wait a minute… I hadn’t inserted it yet… it’s still on my desk… Sorry….
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Tech support: What kind of computer [...]

A principal of a small middle school had a problem with a few of the older girls starting to use lipstick. After applying lipstick in the bathroom they would then press their lips to the mirror and leave lip prints [purportedly practicing the perfect pucker].
Before it got out of hand he thought of a way [...]

A man pulled up next to a little girl walking home from school and
said “If you get in, I’ll give you a lollypop.” The girl kept walking.
Following along slowly, the man said “Come on and get in the car with
me and I’ll give you two lolly pops.” She kept her
eyes on the sidewalk and [...]

THE MALE STAGES OF LIFE
AGE DRINK
17 - beer
25 - vodka
35 - bourbon
48 - double bourbon
66 - Maalox
AGE SEDUCTION LINE
17 - My parents are away for the weekend.
25 - My girlfriend is away for the weekend
35 - My fiance is away for the weekend.
48 - My wife is away for the weekend.
66 - My second wife [...]

Mother passing by her son’s bedroom was astonished to see that his
bed
was nicely made and everything was picked up.
Then she saw an envelope, propped up prominently on the pillow that
was
addressed to “Mom” With the worst premonition she opened the
envelope
with trembling hands and read the letter.

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