In this life

In this life, I’m a woman. In my next life, I’d like to come back as a
bear. When you’re a bear, you get to hibernate. You do nothing but
sleep for six months. I could deal with that. Before you hibernate,
you’re supposed to eat yourself stupid. I could deal with that too.
When you’re a girl bear, you birth your children (who are the size of
walnuts) while you’re sleeping and wake to partially grown, cute,
cuddly cubs. I could definitely deal with that. If you’re mama bear,
everyone knows you mean business. You swat anyone who bothers your
cubs. If your cubs get out of line, you swat them too. I could deal
with that. If you’re a bear, your mate EXPECTS you to wake up
growling. He EXPECTS that you will have hairy legs and excess body
fat. Yup, gonna be a bear!

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