Bear Warning Label

By: enj

Due to increasing product liability litigation, American
beer brewers have accepted the FDA’s suggestion that the
following warning labels be placed immediately on all beer
containers:

WARNING:
The consumption of alcohol may make you think you are whispering when you
are not.

WARNING:
The consumption of alcohol is a major factor in dancing like an asshole.

WARNING:
The consumption of alcohol may cause you to tell the same boring story over
and over again until your friends want to SMASH YOUR HEAD IN !!!

WARNING:
The consumption of alcohol may cause you to thay shings like thish.

WARNING:
The consumption of alcohol may lead you to believe that ex-lovers are really
dying for you to telephone them at four in the morning.

WARNING:
The consumption of alcohol may leave you wondering what the hell happened to
your pants.

WARNING:
The consumption of alcohol may make you think you can logically converse
with other members of the opposite sex without spitting.

WARNING:
The consumption of alcohol may make you think you have mystical Kung Fu
powers, resulting in you getting your ass kicked.

WARNING:
The consumption of alcohol may cause you to roll over in the morning and see
something really scary (whose species and or name you can’t remember).

WARNING:
The consumption of alcohol is the leading cause of inexplicable rug burns on
the forehead.

WARNING:
The consumption of alcohol may create the illusion that you are tougher,
smarter and more handsome than some really, really big guy named FRANZ.

WARNING:
The consumption of alcohol may lead you to believe you are invisible.

WARNING:
The consumption of alcohol may lead you to think people are laughing WITH
you.

WARNING:
The consumption of alcohol may cause a disturbance in the time-space
continuum, whereby small (and sometimes large) gaps of time may seem to
literally disappear.

WARNING:
The consumption of alcohol may actually CAUSE pregnancy.

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