A man and a giraffe walk into a bar. The two of them start a total booze fest when suddenly the giraffe goes down. The man gets up, gets his coat and heads for the door, leaving the bartender baffled. When he reaches the door, the bartender yells “Oye! You can’t leave that lyin’ there!”, upon which the man responds, “It’s not a lion, it’s a giraffe”.
Says the one pizza to the other, “Damn, it sure is hot in this oven”. The other completely freaks out, “oh my fucking god, a talking pizza”.
It’s green and when it hits you in the eye, you’re dead.
It’s white and when it falls of your roof, your stove is broken